Waiting For My Real Life to Begin

I wish I could leave tomorrow, and go back home to A-. I have always believed in signs, omens, destiny, whatever you want to call it. Well, for the past few months, I have been getting a lot of signs that I am destined to move back to A- for good. Over the past four years, I have been slowly realizing the importance of family and being around friends. It is not the same over the phone, or email, and I feel as if I am wasting my life. My mantra for so long has been that I am waiting for my real life to begin. But instead of waiting for things to get better or wait for that something great to happen, I should just be thankful I have people who care about me, and adapt my life to fit both myself and my loved ones. Instead of nothing fitting me, I need to learn to mould what is given to me to make the most of it. Does that make sense?

Songs for Inspiration and Meditation:
"When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened, But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane, I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now, Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice, I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in, I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call,
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon, It's just that times are lean "
-Colin Hay, "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin"

"This is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose"
-Switchfoot, "This is Your Life"

"Pilgrim, how you journey, On the road you chose
To find out why the winds die, And where the stories go.
All days come from one day, That much you must know,
You cannot change what's over, But only where you go...

Each heart is a pilgrim, Each one wants to know
The reason why the winds die, And where the stories go.
Pilgrim, in your journey, You may travel far,
For pilgrim it's a long way, To find out who you are"
-Enya, "Pilgrim"

I work two blocks west from the Viper Room, where River Phoenix died. River was my favorite actor as a kid, and I was devastated when he died of a drug overdose in 1994. I don't pass it daily, but being so close is a constant reminder. His tragic life has always inspired me to live a good life, for yourself and not to please others solely. Not to betray your own beliefs.