Saturday, June 9, 2007

Start of some soul searching

I am now entering the last year of my 20's, and I have actually started going backwards. Yeek! So in an effort to feel better about this backstep and being 29, I have been watching films that make me feel good. Films that make me feel as if I will find my place in this world. Great works of film genius they are not, but something about them calls to me. Practical Magic, Sweet Home Alabama, Elizabethtown. The only one missing is Where the Heart is. I'll see it yet.

I ran off to Los Angeles because I thought somehow I would fall back into my old life. But I have come to realize that it is too late to go back. I am 1) not the same person I was then; and 2) I do not have as much money as I did then. This past year and a half has been devestating to me. I just don't know what or how to pull through it and get to the place that feels right for me. Both in my personal and professional life. Neither are going in the right direction.

I seem to be really down and pessimistic in my recent postings, but I can't help it. I can't say this stuff to anyone around me, except my sister. I'm going to do a series of personality etc. tests and begin some serious soul searching to try to pull myself out of this before I off myself or do something equally stupid. Here's the first.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

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